“C is for compact.”
I squeezed out of my vehicle for that! I was pissed. I imagined that the note was from some admirer who had found my beauty too bountiful to express himself in person. Maybe, the mall security guard, seeing me on surveillance saw this as his only chance. Perhaps the guy I passed when I was turning in knew he couldn’t let the opportunity pass to be blessed by my grace. The flattery of it all made me smile (more than the shoes I had just purchased for half off). It was romantic and a little creepy…but I’m an ‘everafter’ at heart.
Everafter=those who believe in the fantasy, the fairytale, the happy ending.
It wasn’t a happy ending. It was sarcasm. I know C is for compact but at 3:30 in the afternoon when the parking lot is empty and there are a million spaces…is it that serious? I imagined the author was some young college girl in a bug who probably didn’t wear shoes and spent countless hours brainstorming ways to save the world (similarity to anyone in particular is completely unintentional). Maybe it was an older gentleman, a professor of Engineering at NC State who drove one of those half-a-car things that could fit in my trunk and need to be plugged in periodically.
Stereotypical visions filled my windshield as I crumbled the paper ripped from a notebook and tossed it into the backseat. I was no different from the scribbler. They probably thought I was some oil guzzling, money wasting, mindless consumer shopping for the latest designer bag. Correction. I bought my last purse in Target and I never buy anything that isn’t on sale.
I like my truck. I kind of even like the stereotypes that are associated with it. “How much does gas cost to fill that thing up?!” I hear that at least once a day. “Are you driving your man’s car?” I hear that at least once a week. “What did you do to afford that?” I hear that at least…well never but I know they think it. Then there’s the inevitable ‘pull up’, when a hot young girl pulls up next to me at a light expecting to find some hot young guy…she’s disappointed and I’m amused.
I like that it represents me and my personality in so many ways. I like that it is so bold, so bright, so big. I like that it is the first vehicle I purchased on my own. Maybe I should have thought of the economy and the environment before I signed the contract to purchase, but I didn’t. I liked it.
It’s just that simple.
Maybe the writer drove a large vehicle too. Maybe it was a note they got once and saved it to pass on the humor. Maybe the writer was genuinely sharing a piece of information that needed to be spread across mall parking lots nationwide. Maybe it was a mall security guard overwhelmed by the number of accident reports he had to take down in a day because some big vehicle put the grand canyon in the door of a smaller one. It could be just that simple.
But just in case…maybe I should get a bumper sticker that reads “my hummer just ate your cooper”.