Balance Beam

My cousin is tatted down her spine. Equilibrium. She has an eloquently rehearsed reason for getting this tattoo. She is finding balance in life. She is a double major in genetics and biology, works at the mall, maintains an impressive social life and juggles finding herself within it all. The black letters perfectly centered along her latte color reveals its own sense of harmony.

Equilibrioception refers physical balance, the ability to stand or walk or move without falling over. It is disturbed by disorientation and dysfunction. Many physical ailments can cause one to be unsettled, nausea, vertigo, an ear infection and so forth and so on.

What has you discombobulated mentally, emotionally, spiritually? What has you stumbling over trying to walk a straight line?

I’m trying to balance single motherhood with single womanhood. Eager student with educated teacher. Cooperative servant with furious leader. Social butterfly with shrinking violet. The balancing act is all-consuming and ever transitioning. What I am balancing can completely differ from week to week.

In an effort to balance chores, I’ve adopted a routine of doing one chore a day. On Mondays I clean the bathrooms, on Tuesdays I vacuum, on Wednesdays I clean the kitchen, and on Thursdays I clean my bedroom. This new plan eliminates housework on the weekends and involves daily tasks to be completed by the fruits of my loins. Chores balanced.

In an attempt to balance school work with blog work with work work, I’ve cleverly designed a diagram that allows time for each throughout the week (of course 8 full hours a day are devoted to tasks surrounding my employment and the duties assigned therein). The only dilemma with this is that I write, when I’m inspired to do so therefore it’s hard to calculate when inspiration will hit but for the most part….work balanced.

That leaves me with relationships (deep sigh). I am not battling the parent-child relationship because I radiate in that area. Nor am I competing in professional situations because I gleam there as well. I am referring to friendships, specifically those of the romantic sort.  I have lost my footing in affiliations of the personal kind. I find that I give too much of myself and do not demand as much as I should or I’m easily dismissive and give too little. I don’t know how to categorize this balance into a mutually acceptable chart of expectations that minimizes disappointments. Relationships imbalanced.

This is where I solicit suggestions.


5 thoughts on “Balance Beam

  1. Oh how I wish I could offer some insight on this one, my friend. Being in much of the same boat as you, I wonder and have the same questions as you. I used to think that your 20’s were times of discovering who you are. I often have to question if that really is the case. I am 33 and still feel like I’m finding me more and more as I get older. I keep wondering when all the pieces will fall into place; in sync. I wonder when I will be a wonderful wife, a great mom, an exceptional friend and the list goes on. I think that pressure to be everything and/or to have it all is self defeating. As I grow older (and hopefully wiser), I have to submit to the fact that when every single piece of my puzzle of life is supposed to come together, it will. I just pray that along the way, He shelters and guides me as He sees fit and that I’m able to listen and learn. I also pray that my friends and loved ones know that even when I take refuge inside of me and my world that I still care and adore them greatly. It’s just me trying to find the balance and not quite knowing how just yet……You’re doing a great job and I admire all that you are as a woman, mother and friend. When the time is right, He will bring every single piece together for you and you will sit back and wonder why you even thought about it in the first place! LOVE YA! 🙂

  2. Imbalanced!!! Homeostasis is the goal, yet seldom achieved. You have heard it said, “its a jungle out there,” its true. However, it is always to everyone’s advantage to first of all set or determine personal standards of expectation to acquire balance in each area of life.

    I am especially proud to share with anyone that I can achieve it (balance)the greater percent of the time because it is tapping into the spiritual source that keeps me centered to invoke balance in life in general. Without this approach, it is my contention that one will falter gravely as we seek to navigate living by the second, minute, or hour.

    Every time I feel off centered or wavering in my abilities to make decisions or to see through a situation with clarity, I immediately consult THE Counselor and I am on course again, sometimes immediately.

    Remember we walk by faith and not by sight!


  3. If it’s unbalanced just add weight to the lighter side……If the lighter side can’t take the weight then there’s a problem.

  4. Dear Relationship Imbalanced,

    In my opinion and experience, of which there is much; (I have dated, if I count correctly; about 7 men in the past year or so) being in relationship with another person is in and of itself an act of IMBALANCE. There is nothing 50/50, balanced or equal in relating to another; especially when you are talking about opposite sexes where sex will eventually become part of the balancing act.

    I have found that pursing and being pursued is more an act of impulse and chemistry than anything else. There is NO SUBSTITUTE for CHEMISTRY….so start there. If you’ve got that, your off to as good a start as possible. From there, I’ve learned that if you and your chemistor (my word, hehe!) are best served by calling, sharing and giving what each of you are inspired to give one another. Don’t get caught up in the misguided societal ways of – “oh, I can’t call, it’s too soon” or “we can’t get physical yet, what will he think” or “if I called her twice today, is that too much? I don’t wanna play myself”. These social mores seem to kill what might otherwise be an enjoyable imbalanced relationship.

    The definition of relationship is a state of connectedness between two people. No where does it say anything about balance. If your more expressive than he but you hold back because he isn’t as expressive as you are, your CAUSING the imbalance. If he is into more physical fitness than you and he pushes you to join in his enthusiastic flaying around at the gym and you do it begrudgingly, then he is CAUSING an imbalance.

    My dating life has taught me that a good way to find balance is to balance yourself (as you, my friend seem to have done in all other areas) and then boldly be that person with everyone you meet. We are all happy and sad and scared and adventurous and worried and confident. Whatever we are, we are always, at some point a little bit or a lot of the polar opposite. These imbalances are what make us beautifully human. So get out there and be you and let all of those handsome, perfectly imbalance men be them. It will all fall in place.

    You have to play in traffic if you want to get hit!


    La Shell

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