Forgive and Forget

I was sitting on my bed this evening, trying to formalize my ideas on tonight’s post. Typically, I wait and write when I’m inspired to do so, but seeing as how my traffic was low today, I need to increase momentum. It was after starting and deleting text three different times that I heard the argument pursue. I called down to the floor below half frustrated over my inability to create and half frustrated that I rewarded my offspring with an hour on the PS3 and it resulted in an argument.

Note to self: Stick to the rules-No video games on school nights!

While I’m still not certain what the fight was over, at some point the older hit the younger in the eye and the younger hit the older in the nose. There they stood in front of me, hands cupped over their respective injuries, explaining through tears. I dismissively listened and sent them both to take showers and get ready for bed.

As I tucked them in and kissed them both good night the older made no motion of affection. After some prodding, he explained that he was upset with me. A year ago, I caught him beating up his little brother and he felt like ever since that day I always assumed he was the culprit and never took his side.

Wow. I was amazed at how well he articulated how he felt and ashamed at how true his perception was. I admitted to him that I had been unfair and with sincere apology I asked his forgiveness. I sat back on my bed thinking of all the times I had done something wrong and felt like I was being convicted of those wrongs over and over again. I thought about how other’s experiences with my own transgressions made them quick to judge me while dismissing my case.

I confessed to my adoring children that I am not the perfect mother they wish me to be. I acknowledged that I make mistakes and often times I will go about this parenting thing wrong. I also explained that in no way do I want them to feel judged by me; they will get enough of that outside the safety and security of our home.

Tonight I learned to forgive and in a way, I also learned to forget.

 Note to reader: Feel free to send some traffic my way. Your support is appreciated.


9 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget

  1. Forgive and Forget… LOVE! If more of us could do this, how much better off the world would be. I have learned to forgive, but I don’t forget. I have some work to do. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Thanks to you all for complimenting me on my parenting style. I am honored to be applauded by such great parents. I understand we are all on our own walk and have our own way but I think open dialogue is an excellent way of getting another person’s perspective. Keep Reading!

  3. I love this post. Im struggling with this right now. I used to be able to forgive and move on really easily but not any more. Im praying for youas I pray for my self also. Forgiveness is a must. I love you. Muah

  4. I don’t know how much you’re told and I pretty sure you already know within yourself, but your a wonderful mother. That means a lot to your sons but more to the world at large because your designing two outstanding men who will be thoughtful, compassionate, forgiving and able to respond productively in their families and communities.

    If you do nothing else in life, you’ve fulfilled a priceless destiny.

  5. Excellent!!!!!

    Forgiveness or the necessity of forgiving someone will be achieved by very few people as they journey through life. It causes one to be honest with self and to be exposed by admitting to some wrong. Realizing how easy it is to see the faults of others, be very afraid when this blessing is no longer important on a daily basis.

    I especially enjoyed the open honest dialogue with the children.
    Good mothers admit when they are wrong.


  6. Very nicely put. Made me think about all those times in my life growing up the oldest of 8 and being blamed for all the other kids messes. Interesting, how that came up. Thought I was finished w/ that. Hmmm. You are a GREAT Mom! I love your parenting skills!

    • Isn’t it comforting to know that no matter what kind of parent you are: single, married, maternal, paternal, rich, poor and so forth and so on, we all experience the same hardships?! Isn’t it even more comforting knowing that you’ve reared a child who is compassionate enough to forgive you and understand?!

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